A RATHER CLOSE ENCOUNTER

Why did they even have to build a weather station all the way out here, and why did I have to be the one to pull the damn data down off of it this time? Couldn't they at least have the decency to provide a tent that could keep the fucking bugs out?

Whatever. I should at least make it clear what actually happened instead of just complaining, I guess. Woke up this morning to find some huge bug — size of your hand, just massive for a bug — managed to sneak into the tent and bite me right on the butt. And it won't let go! Obviously the first thing I tried to do was yank it off, but that just hurt like a bitch and it wouldn't budge at all. I managed to get a look at what's going on back there with the camera, and at least it doesn't seem to be actively bleeding or anything horrifying like that. Doesn't hurt hanging there, at least?

Nearest town is still a week away, and who knows if they have a doctor there who could help me with this. Signal is spotty at best if you can even get it out here, too… which explains why I had to manually fetch that data, I guess. I'll set these messages to try and broadcast regardless. Maybe I'll get lucky with a break in the trees, and you back at the office can get a head start at figuring out if this thing is going to kill me?

It's awkward wearing pants when there's a bug stuck to your ass. At least there's nobody else to see me like this out here. Well, if I didn't want anyone to see I wouldn't be taking any pictures of it, but fear is stronger than embarrassment this time. I'd rather the doctors know more than less. You can thank me later when writing up a case study.

Anyways, I can feel the thing wiggling sometimes, so it's clearly still alive. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than if it was dead? No pain, no swelling, no bleeding; still just as stubborn as yesterday. It doesn't seem to care much about being yanked on, either. What is this bug even trying to get at, anyways? Hopefully not burrowing through my spine and then eating my brain.

It's funny how fast things get boring. If you told me twenty years ago that i'd be traversing an alien jungle when I grow up, I'd have been super excited. Hell, I was even excited when I landed this gig! Yet here I am, just sick of driving down these dirt roads day in and day out. Hard to even call them roads, honestly, when you're driving at a speed some people could outrun on foot. Can't run all day with a ton of cargo though, so that's something.

I can feel it. I'm not sure how, but I swear that if something touches this thing, I can feel it. Not that I feel it tugging on my ass, but I can feel it. Directly. Like how poking any other part of my own body feels. But how? I think I'm going crazy or something. I need to get back to civilization.

Took some time to feel around after that panic attack. Yeah, I really am able to feel through this thing. The fact that nothing feels numb around it means it probably isn't eating my spine to get to my brain? Not sure why I was ever worried about that.

Touching it feels like touching, well, a bug. Top half is hard, bottom half is more… leathery? Honestly, the bottom feels kinda nice to touch… or maybe it feels nice to have it be touched? Hard to tell which one it is when you're doing both. Pulling on it at this point feels about as ridiculous as pulling on my own finger. I think I might even be able to wiggle it around a bit, but it's hard to get used to.

Or maybe I'm just fully insane now and hallucinating all of this. Could be that!

Finally managed to hit a break in the trees enough to pick up a satlink today. And thanks for sending back information on what this bug even is, as I really did not know anything about it. Guess it's a good thing it wasn't trying to eat my brain? Maybe it would have just starved up there.

So the good news is that it is removable. The bad news is that it's already had enough time to attach itself to my circulatory and nervous systems, so that sure as hell isn't a procedure you can get done in a small town anymore. Well, at least it isn't going to kill me?

It's honestly kind of fun to wiggle it around. Not like I have much else to do out here, just driving down these near-endless trails. Wish it would actually fit in my pants, though. Or that it would have never bit me in the first place, but whatever.

Okay, I must actually be going crazy, because the more I think about getting this thing removed, the more I don't want to. There's a creepy alien bug stuck to my ass that's sucking my blood, and somehow that doesn't feel like the most disgusting thing ever anymore? I'm not sure if it's the isolation that got to me, or if this thing is fucking with my brain directly. Y'know, being plugged into my nerves directly and all that.

And yet I just can't bring myself to truly hate the thing anymore, even with how annoying pants are to wear with it. It almost feels like a part of me now, honestly. Even if that part is a weird bug.

Finally made it back to town. Taking a shower again really is amazing. Oh, and being able to take notes on a device that isn't monitored by my employer too. And being able to lie down in a real bed again.

Speaking of, lying down on my back isn't honestly that bad with this thing. Maybe it's because my butt just isn't that big, but it can tuck underneath me just fine. It does feel a bit different than yesterday to touch it though. Tight? Numb? Hard to describe. I wonder if it's going to molt soon. Can't say for sure why I think that though…

Yeah, this thing must be messing with my mind a little. How else would I know exactly when it was ready to molt? It felt nice though. Like taking your shoes off after a long day of walking, is the closest I can describe.

It's definitely bigger now. Crazy how a bug can almost double in size so easily after popping out of the old shell, but it's probably easier when you don't have bones and can steal blood from somewhere else? Oh, and it's definitely impossible to hide it under anything but the baggiest of pants now. The little legs it had on the bottom have gone away, which makes sense as it doesn't exactly need to do any walking on its own anymore. Though strangely, it kept the wings on top. Bit too small for me to fly with, that's for sure!

The bottom still feels really nice to touch. Almost lost myself in just rubbing it for a few minutes, honestly. And then I noticed the big pink thing suddenly sticking out of the bug stuck to my butt. Yeah, that's definitely an ovipositor, and I just gave myself a bug-boner. Didn't think this is how I'd put the knowledge to use when I was reading those encyclopedia articles I was sent, but here we are?

So of course I poked it. And it felt… mostly like poking my own dick. I'm not sure what I even expected at this point. Greasy, though. Kind of embarrassing at first seeing it dwarf my actual penis as I started to stroke it, but who am I to complain when it's full of my blood just the same? But yes, it felt just as good as any other jerking off I'd ever done, except with twice the length to play with. And with a much oilier mess at the end, which is going to be a total pain to wash out of my sheets. Nice of it to retract back into its little slit so quickly, too.

I was kinda expecting some sort of eggs to come out too, but in hindsight I'm glad there weren't any. I'm not really sure what I'd do with them, and I really don't feel like having to figure that out right now. Not sure why I suddenly thought about eggs, either… but I wonder how they'd feel coming out?

Made it to the doctor, finally. Worst part was everyone staring at the bug on my ass in the waiting room, as if it's not something I already know about. The doctor started by feeling it up and looking at it, and the first thing he asked if it had molted. Must be pretty obvious just from looking?

Apparently, removal becomes significantly more difficult after the first molting; and since the things are primed to become an invasive species, they don't want anyone spreading them. Awkward, because there aren't any doctors in town that can remove it at this stage. At least he prescribed me some birth control for it, so I won't have to worry about it suddenly laying a clutch of baby bugs in my apartment.

Oh, and I'm legally required to take this birth control if I ever want to go offworld again. Fantastic. Either that, or try and track down a doctor that can remove this thing for good.

There's an alien bug fully fused to my ass, stealing my blood and trying to pretend that it's a part of my body and not just some disgusting parasite. And instead of trying to get it removed the first second I could, I just let it stay there and jerked it off like I'm some weirdo who fucks alien bugs for fun. Oh, and stains in my bedsheets just won't come out, like some fucked up marking to claim it as its bed, not mine. How am I supposed to sleep like that?

Even worse is that I can't hide it at all in public. It's like a massive beacon to everyone around me that I'm this freaky bug fucker. Having it just hang out feels vulgar and exposed, yet covering the slit feels like I'm validating it. What should I even do? I'm getting stared like a freak any time I go out in public with this thing attached to me either way. Do people think I'm keeping it around because I'm some kind of pervert? Are they just confused? Scared of it? I don't know. I'm not sure if I even want to know.

Pants just aren't designed for this thing. Yeah, out of all the problems of having a bug attached to my ass, that's what I'm focused on. But can you blame me?

Obviously, it's far too big to fit inside a pair of pants. The best I've figured out so far is looping a belt around and over it, which does a decent enough job at keeping everything in place. It's still not perfect though; maybe I should try a bit of sewing or something to make better room for it. Maybe I should start wearing longer shirts? Maybe a kilt…

At least I figured out a good way to wear underwear around it; turns out that weird little slot in every pair of briefs is actually good for something for me now. As long as I wear them backwards.

I'm still not sure if I want to try and cover it up or not. I know people are going to stare no matter what, but it just feels so naked having the slit exposed. But it's just a bug, right? Why would it matter for modesty if it's not even truly a part of me? Having a long sock over it does feel pretty cozy, though.

I got a bug-boner in public today. I'm not even really sure why it happened; I was just relaxing in the park and suddenly I smelled something. Not even sure what that smell was; I could swear it was just… some kind of earthy note in someone's perfume, not even something that really would have stood out to me before. And yet, this thing must have messed with how I smell stuff now too, because it just felt like… I barely even know how to explain it, really.

The next thing I knew I just felt aroused. Pure, instinctual desire to breed… yet I wasn't getting hard at all. Or feeling any of the usual feelings at my crotch, really. All the blood was rushing further back, and that big slippery bug dick popped out. For everyone to see! I tried my best to hide it, but there really wasn't much to do other than wait it out. At least I managed to move it a bit out of the way and hide it under my butt. It's actually pretty good at flexing around, so that's something. Made a real mess of my pants though…

Even outside of the embarrassment, why was I the one feeling aroused here? It's not like I got hard from it, yet every bit of that arousal was in my mind as if it was just as much a part of me. Has it messed with my sense of smell in other ways? Could it be messing with my other senses too? If I get it removed, will all of this stay and I'll just be stuck getting horny at whatever turns on alien bugs?

Whatever. I'll just look for socks that fit it better.

Finally managed to track down a doctor who knows how to get these removed. Of course, they're another fucking planet. And booked for over a year. Fucking fantastic.

I guess I'll just have to get used to this thing.